The Pulpit Bully

Have you ever cringed while listening to a sermon and afterward felt that your spirit was harmed rather than helped? If so, it might be because the preacher is a bully.

These types of preachers are aggressive in seeking to dominate others. They are often strident in their pronouncements. But, just as many of them are sly and secretly persuasive.

Preaching bullies do not preach the Bible properly, nor usually accurately. They confuse their role of faithful persuasive application with the Holy Spirit’s role of conviction and changing the heart.

There are at least three indicators of bullying from the pulpit, corresponding to their designs upon others’ thoughts, feeling and behaviors.

Control Thoughts

A pulpit bully uses his position of power and his knowledge to impose his viewpoint as the only option when there are other options. He draws unnecessary lines in the sand, mocks other viewpoints and casts suspicion on those who hold other views than his own. He prefers that people don’t think for themselves.

Instead, the preacher should help us think well biblically. He should respect other legitimate Christian viewpoints. He should take the opportunity to model for us how to rejoice in the richness of God’s Word and the glory of Christ.

Manipulate Feelings

A pulpit bully uses his platform to push people around until they feel the way he does about things. He moves people’s passions into conviction on some matters and not on others, until their emotions match his own. He defines the fruits of the Spirit in terms of his own character development, and denies and chides the experience of others.

Instead, the preacher should acknowledge the valid range of human emotions. He should respect people and the working of the Holy Spirit in His People. He should take the opportunity to celebrate the powerful purifying presence of the Spirit working Christlikeness in us.

Conform Behaviors

A pulpit bully uses his privilege to relentlessly advance his agenda and pressure others to get his way. He criticizes misbehavior at length, persists in addressing the same set of life issues and coerce our choices by fear. He works people over so they all look, speak and behave in a prescribed manner.

Instead, the preacher should trust his congregation and their spiritual judgment. He should not be afraid of disagreement or diversity. He should be patient with people as our heavenly Father is patient. He should take the opportunity to honor the lifelong process of Christian growth.

Advice to the Battered Ones

The Apostle Paul instructs pastors to pursue a different path: 1 Timothy 1:5 ESV “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.”

Bullying is using one’s position and power to intimidate and keep others in a position of weakness. Pulpit bullies do this through preaching. They do not respect the Word of God, the People of God, not really even God Himself!

If you face a bully in the pulpit week after week, just leave and find a preacher who thinks more highly of the calling of preaching. If not, you could end up destined to live life as a weak and abused Christian. Find a healthy godly church with a preacher that brings blessing and healing into your soul through the true Word of God.

Can I Help You Find Another Church?

Many people have had to go through the difficult experience of switching churches within the same town. This can be very unsettling and stressful, leading to great unhappiness in the process. People generally have a hard time seeing that their discontent might be God’s method of moving them on. How can a pastor be most helpful?

3 Poor Approaches

1. Anger. Pastors should not get angry or defensive. Although it feels highly personal, and might be some of the times, most often it is not. Even when it is, if we gain strength from Christ and put our hope in His glory and vindication, we can address the situation as needed. Dealing harshly with people displeases the Lord, and will result in leadership failure.

2. Ignore. We should not ignore people who are struggling, either. Avoidance, hoping the problem will resolve itself is poor leadership. It hurts everyone, the whole congregation, you as the pastor and those who are disgruntled. If they leave it will remain unresolved. If they keep on complaining they need to be confronted.

3. Sell. Nor should we attempt to appease their complaints. Often our initial reaction is to explain why we do ministry the way we do it, and why they should be excited about it and embrace it. We point out the many successes and obvious blessings from the Lord. We try to sell them, or re-sell them, on our vision.

Instead of these approaches, we should engage people more deeply and truly help them. In doing so, we ourselves will grow in Christ and in spiritual skill in leading His People. In a few cases, such people might start to see things differently and make a dramatic change and become a team player. But, more likely at this stage this will not be true for the large majority. So, how might we part ways in a more spiritual manner?

3 Better Approaches

1. Explain. Explain that maybe they are entering a different stage in life. A lot of people don’t even realize this about themselves and their families. Our needs and hopes change throughout life. Likewise, our spiritual journeys and desires for growth change. This reality needs to be understood much better by all of us and embraced as God’s design in our path to being fully transformed into the image of Christ.

2. Explore. Explore with them the possibility that God may be moving then on to help another church and its ministry. We are one large worldwide team in Christ’s Church. There are numerous places to serve, among many different peoples, and many with far greater needs than our present congregation. Ask questions about their passions for Gospel ministry. Take time to enter their stories and find out what God is doing in them.

3. Exhort. Some simply need to be exhorted, told maybe for the first time that they are just ornery and obstinate people who need to leave if they do not change. Be prepared that unhappy people are just that--unhappy. Some have serious spiritual problems with trusting the Lord and submitting to His authorities and established leaders. Don’t let people despise you and your position. Challenge them as you tell them to leave.

Doing The Parting

People don’t know what to do with discontent or where to go. Often they need to be given the gifts of freedom and understanding, rather then being told they are bad Christians. They are already struggling with this before the Lord. Don’t over-spiritualize church membership and abuse the concept of loyalty. (See related blog Three Problems With The Marriage Analogy.)

At the proper time, ask directly, “Can I help you find another church?”

Asking such a question will be surprising to most people. The fear and expectation going into this kind of meeting with the pastor overwhelms people. The idea of parting on good terms, and even to bless one another as friends, probably has not occurred to them.

The reason the pastor should ask this question, is not only because he is the leader, but because often people don’t know other churches in the area like the pastor does. We have the opportunity to match them up for the next stage in their journey and to maximize their usefulness for the Kingdom!

This is by far a better conclusion to what is often the inevitable outcome after people become considerably dissatisfied. Why not take advantage of the situation, preserve the relationships, help them find another church, and bring further glory to God?

6 Signs Of Leading Like A Boss

Every once in a while you encounter Christian organizations that are run more like an organized crime family than a church family, denomination, mission agency or non-profit. 

It is their leadership style that gives them away. Here are six clear signs of abuse of power and manipulation, that if you see them, you should run and not look back.

Decisions are Unilateral and Whimsical



Examine who are the real decision makers. How many of them are there? Does it ever seem confusing how they make decisions? Can you articulate their criteria? Can they? What hoops must you jump through in order to make a significant decision? When was the last time you were allowed to make one? If decisions are unilateral and whimsical you are likely dealing with a mafia boss style leader.


Favors are Granted for Ingratiation



Follow the money. Money tells all, or very close to it. Who has the authority to dispense funds indiscriminately? Who can’t, and why? Money talks and money makes people look good, even better when they give it away. What is expected of the recipients—immediate praise of course, but what about in the long term? Is such generosity a virtue or a vice? If favors are granted to ingratiate others you are likely dealing with a mafia boss style leader.

Enforcers are Visible and Invisible



Most likely they do not wear suits, sport shades and carry uzis under their jackets. But, notice who is almost always in the room, whether silently at the table or leading the meeting. Do people ever show up unexpectedly, filled with questions about your decisions, actions, spending, travel, relationships or goals? Can members or employees ask questions about abrupt ministry changes, or are they too afraid to ask? If enforcers are present and in your business you are likely dealing with a mafia boss style leader.


Loyalty is Touted as the Highest Virtue



Loyalty is obviously a virtue. But, how often do your superiors talk about loyalty? If it is a whole lot, there might be something wrong. It could be a mild form of megalomania, or it is waiting to become full-blown. Is your loyalty ever questioned, or rather paraded as an example? What about others in the organization? If loyalty is the conversation of the day, almost every day, you are likely dealing with a mafia boss style leader.


Excess is Enjoyed, Gifted and Withheld



Follow the money, yes. But, following the spending is even a better indicator of self-absorption and idiocy. How much is spent on dining, liquor, hotels, entertainment, airline upgrades, clothing et cetera? More importantly, observe who they share it with and who they don’t, and why, and when. Stay alert and make solid conclusions. Do not accept excuses. If the luxuries and pleasures flow freely you are likely dealing with a mafia boss style leader.


Notification is Given about Who is Trustworthy



Have you received that email telling you someone is a bad guy and you should stop communicating with him? Or, you have been told you can trust so and so without question. Why are you letting someone else make these decisions of character assessment for you without your own investigation? Have you ever considered that this might be manipulation, especially after a few rounds of names? If you are regularly notified about good guys and bad guys you are likely dealing with a mafia boss style leader.

Realize that mafia style Christians in leadership will cover up the above with spiritual language. The decisions will be billed as Spirit-led, favors will be promoted as blessings, alignment will be described as what moves us forward, loyalty will be described as teamwork, travel perks will be deemed necessary for major advancements and finally the purity of the mission must depend on identifying the trustworthy. 

In many places in the world, violence and intimidation will be used along with these six means of coercion. Pay attention to the unhealthy nonsense. If these ungodly signs are present, even just a few of them, get out fast!

Hijacked Preaching

Preaching is not what many have come to think it is.

It is not about giving a good speech with applause and handshakes to follow. 
It is not about delivering a theology lesson with head nods and warm hearts agreeing.
It is not about providing counseling for the myriads of hurting people. 
It is not about motiving people to a better morality, making them feel guilty or superior. 
It is not about making Jesus sound politically correct or incorrect.
It is not about skillful altar calls, and the baptisms that follow. 
It is not about artsy appeals to a live really cool communal Christian lifestyle. 
It is not about presenting the top (insert a number) tips for living a happy life. 
It is not about convincing unbelievers, while ignoring the soul needs of believers. 
It is not about the preacher’s hair, jeans or suit, his language, or his makeup artists.
It is not about the newly released book and the promises contained in it.
It is not about dropping nuggets of wisdom for financial and relational successes. 
It is not about addressing current political concerns, injustices or outrageous atrocities. 
It is not about wooing weak women or duping men easy to be suckered. 
It is not about the number of people in the room or those listening by live streaming.
It is not about meticulously mentioning the concerns of various constituencies. 

The list goes on, and for American Christians this is especially true, sadly, embarrassingly and reprovingly. Preaching has been hijacked, taken to places it should not go.

Certainly, preaching, even good preaching, may contain some of the elements from the above list, but preaching still stands separate; it is not those things. It is a unique calling.

Preaching as Sui Generis

Preaching is a unique event without analogy or parallel. As John Stott named it in his book Between Two Worlds, preaching is sui generis, its own genre. There are only three things a preacher need to know about and concern himself with: the Holy Spirit’s role in Scripture, people and the preacher. God the Holy Spirit has written the Scripture. He indwells Christians. And He empowers the preacher. 

The Bible is God’s Word. There is nothing more powerful and important to study, declare and apply than this! What else is there worthy to be preached?! It is a simple task, though it is a profound task. And we are called to honor the Word before the Lord, His people and the angels.

1 Peter 1:12 ESV “It was revealed to them [Old Testament prophets] that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.”

Believers in Jesus Christ really want to listen to the Word. They really truly do, more than seeing the things in the list above! They have been re-made to hunger and thirst for the Word of God. And unbelievers will be given spiritual life by the living and abiding Word through the preaching of it. So everyone benefits.

Psalms 119:130 ESV “The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.” 

2 Timothy 4:1–2 ESV “I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word . . .”

The unction of God upon the preacher is easy to recognize and makes a world of difference! This is not simply passion, but the anointing of the Spirit that stirs the soul of the preacher, affecting him first and then the congregation. It far surpasses anything on that relatively boring preaching list above.

Simply Preach the Word

A few years ago I did some academic research on historical metaphors and models of preaching. I was stunned and lamented to see the modern devolutions, especially in the last couple of centuries.

For the pastor today, the pressures to perform and produce are intense. It is a matter of spiritual warfare. Consequently, every Sunday that I preach I must reset myself by prayer to the classical view of preaching, which is simply declaring the Word of God. 

Stay focused. Don’t let your preaching be hijacked, taken places other than God’s designed destination, and don’t bother listening to preaching that has been hijacked.