What Was So Funny? Human Souls

They started laughing at us before we even got to the most difficult part of the Gospel.  

What triggered it was an explanation of God’s creation, specially how He made human beings in His own image, different from all other living beings.

Made in God’s Image

As we did often in this part of southeast Asia, we entered a village found a group of friendly people, and directed the conversation to spiritual matters.  According to plan, we started with the first verse in the Bible and explained who God is as the Creator.

You know how the story goes, but they didn’t.  There is one all-powerful God who made the heavens and the earth.  He made inanimate things, living beings, but He uniquely made humanity in His own image with a soul and in relationship with Himself.

There were some animals nearby.  So, we used them as a contrasting example.  People have souls that will live eternally.  As soon as we mentioned this, the uproar of laughter began.  I was waiting for the ridicule to come a little later in the conversation, honestly.

They went on and on about how our God, the Creation story and our view of people was ludicrous.  We learned that this village had been strongly influenced by atheism replacing their heritage of animism, and seeing all religious views as nothing more than superstitious.

Obviously to them we all die alike and that was that.  They paused in silence to see what we would say next, staring at each of us on the team, waiting expectantly for more laughable material.

We talked about the advantages we have over cattle and chickens, of course.  We went on to talk about our moral and relational capacities, and especially the matter of our spiritual relationship to God and our responsibilities as stewards of His Creation.

They listened politely, probably surprised that we weren’t shaken by their attempt to humiliate us.  After explaining much more about the character of God and His actions in the world, we landed upon the most important historical matters of the incarnation, life, death, resurrection, reign and return of Jesus Christ.

Yes, we talked about all of that, and with new courage they helped inspire by their opposition.  However, that was the end of the twenty minute exchange with these twenty people.  They took the Gospel materials, even though they were not that interested.  

Kids Swinging from a Tree

We were headed down the street debriefing our experience when we happened upon a large tree with young children swinging from ropes tied to its branches.  We stopped to talk with them, and within minutes many of the children from the previous encounter showed up wanting to know more about God.

We had some video CDs with us that dramatized the Creation and Redemption stories.  So we gave out a few of them to the older children who appeared to be the leaders.  But in front of everyone we made them agree to the condition that they had to show them to all the families of the village.  

They thought about it and talked about it among themselves for a minute and agreed.  Then, immediately one of them led us to a house right away.  Children often make for great evangelists.  We thought we were done in this village, but apparently not yet.  

Once inside and having met everyone we watched one of the videos together.  At least we weren’t laughed at this time.  After the movie, we ended up sharing a small meal together, talking a little about the movie (they weren’t that interested) and simply enjoying one another as people created in God’s image.

My experience in that village that day increased my love for humanity, all people made in God’s image—yet, fallen and in need of healing and redemption in Jesus Christ.  I still find myself praying for those people by face, that the Lord would use those Gospel materials (and maybe other messengers of His) to cause them to see and understand the light of the Gospel of the glory of Christ.

Wisdom In Young Adult Children

These two verses in Proverbs 23 talk about every Christian parent’s greatest dream and prayer for their children.  It is a blessing to see it come true.

Possessing Wisdom Blesses Parents

Proverbs 23:15 ESV “My son, if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad.”

This verse talks about the joy that comes to a person when they are wise and live in wisdom.  Beyond that, nothing blesses a father’s or mother’s heart more than godly wisdom in their children, the first signs of it as teenagers, and then moreso as adults themselves.  

They navigate life well for the glory of God in morality, marriage, family, friends, church, world, in finances, life skills, in becoming truly wise, in trials and the hope of eternal life.  These are the major subjects covered throughout the collection of Proverbs. 

Above all they have a healthy vibrant growing relationship with God.  They exhibit a true and abiding spirituality based upon the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Speaking Wisdom Causes Extreme Joy

Proverbs 23:16 ESV “My inmost being will exult when your lips speak what is right.”

Verse 16 escalates the expression of gladness or joy by referencing (literally) the “kidneys.”  In the Hebrew mindset, it is the kidneys that were the seat of the emotions.  And so, the father here is talking about having the deepest joy possible in his whole being, even throughout his being.  

This is because, knowing our children have wisdom is one level of joy, but seeing them put it in action, even speak publicly to instruct others in wisdom, this is what causes an extreme joy in the inner being of parents!

When we as parents actually hear Wisdom from God spoken by our sons and daughters to others, our hearts are filled with delight.

Taking Pleasure in the Right Desires 

Some of us are currently living in this satisfaction; others of us are working on it and looking forward to it.

If you believe you missed your opportunity, there is still hope because our God pursues young adults to bring them to the point where they realize that, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7)  So, keep on learning yourself, and praying for your adult children.

If you are a teenage son or teenage daughter, it is still proper to desire to please your parents, especially in this matter of displaying wisdom.  So, study the Proverbs; it is for you, as it says in the introduction, “to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth.” (Proverbs 1:4)

If you are a parent, it is proper and right to be filled with delight over your heritage of wisdom gained through your parenting.  And yet there is still so much to learn; Proverbs is for you to study, as the collection’s introduction states, “let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.” (Proverbs 1:5)

Let Your Teenagers Do Whatever They Want

About the time our teenagers turn 16 or 17 we have the “yes” talk.  This talk is when we let them know that we trust them, and that for whatever they want to do the answer will almost always be “yes” based upon three conditions.  

It is a whole lot easier operating with a general stance of permission, than having to evaluate every situation in detail before granting permission or not.  Besides, we as parents get tired of saying “no” and it is no fun.

There are only three conditions they are responsible to maintain.  And we share these with them.  (I am indebted to my friend John for teaching me this.  So far, it has worked well for us.)

1.  They have a growing relationship with Christ.  



This will be easily observed by the devotional habits they choose to keep, and their enjoyment of their church family.  It will be obvious by a generally happy and pleasant disposition.  And they will often initiate spiritual conversation and move conversations in this direction.

2.  They have an open relationship with their parents. 

Conversation flows easily.  It is more than about general topics, but topics of value to a family that loves and cares for one another.  There is mutual respect and trust.  This needs to be measured from the parents’ point of view.  It is up to the teenagers to make their parents feel connected to their lives. 

3.  They have a recent history of making wise choices. 

Freedom needs to be valued and handled wisely.  They are known for making healthy and godly choices for themselves, especially when it effects others around them.  Basically, this means they are doing a good job making decisions and enjoying activities.

Certainly, there is a lot more involved in parenting, especially teenagers.  But sharing the confidence you have in your son or daughter with them will encourage and inspire them to greater and greater things.  They are wanting to do more and more, and become their own person.  

Mistakes will be made, even foolish ones.  This is how we learn and grow toward maturity and maturity in Christ.  These are opportunities to hold adult level talks, take responsibility, pray together, make things right, and move onward and upward.

Besides, it is time to move out of the instruction phase of parenting and step into the coaching phase of parenting and help your sons and daughters reach all their God-given potential.  This is our goal and joy as parents.

Top Ten Values For My Boys

I recently returned from a four day trip to the Sierra Nevada.  This was a planned manhood experience for my boys, 12 and 13 years old.  We spent quality time together, did tough things together, and had the types of conversations and fun men can only have when women are not around.  

Our Definition

I presented to them a framed copy of our definition of manhood and the top ten values that will get us there and keep us growing as men for a lifetime.  Theirs now hang in their bedrooms and mine in my office.  Our definition of being a man is a definition of action:  

“A man takes responsibility for those around him, and courageously leads them toward a better future, with God’s truth and in His love, all for the glory of Jesus Christ.”

Each of us has memorized this definition, and we even quiz one another to keep it fresh in our minds.

Our Top Ten Values

We have been discussing this definition and the following ten values for a few months.  Certainly there are many more values, but ten is a good number, and from these we are able to touch on many other associated values and issues.

1.  Spiritual Wisdom


Romans 8:5b–6 “Those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

2.  Loyalty


Hosea 6:6 “For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”

3.  Integrity


Proverbs 10:9 “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.”

4.  Generosity


Proverbs 19:6 “Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts.”

5.  Purity


1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”

6.  Perseverance


Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

7.  Self-Discipline


1 Timothy 4:7b–8 “Train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”

8.  Honor


1 Peter 2:17 “Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.”

9.  Humility


Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

10.  Sacrificial Leadership


Matthew 20:26b–27 “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Discipleship is Our Work

One of the best lessons I have learned from other men about raising sons is that we as fathers need to commit ourselves both to times of teaching and to living life together.  Neither is sufficient in itself, and both require intentionality.

We can’t just rely on our occasional instruction, or the instruction our sons may get from pastors and teachers, even mothers and others.  Fathers need to do it themselves.  We can’t just rely on our sons observing our lives and hoping they make the right conclusions by themselves.  Fathers need to guide their understanding.

Our discussions take place over breakfast on Fridays.  These are not intense scary times, but intentional honest times, and usually kept brief.  These days we use three simple questions:  

• What is the value and why is it important?  
• How does it help in navigating life for success before God and in the world?  
• What might it look like for us?  


Then, we share stories of examples we have witnessed or experienced, both positive and negative.  That’s it.  Done.  We can encourage and challenge one another from the definition and the values list during the week.

An Enormous Mission Force

When a definition of manhood and a top ten values list is set within the larger context of God’s Mission then they become even more powerful in the lives of men and boys.

It is a huge mistake to think that the goal in all of this is to raise sons with Christian character who love Jesus and will love their families someday.  This is good but far from good enough.  That goal is too quaint, too small, too simple, and just plain short-sighted.  

Many Christian parents believe that raising good moral children who can quote Bible verses will result in great Christian leaders.  However, it is naive to think that a strong personal vision for life and community, and strategic involvement for the Kingdom of God will automatically emerge.  

Many stop at character, but boys need more.  They need a grand vision, a cause with clarity to live and die for!  This would be Christ’s Mission for the world.  They need a leader to follow who will take them places and give them experiences.  They need a man to affirm God’s calling on their lives and their unique gifting from Him.  They need godly mission-minded men to lead them into purpose-filled manhood.  And they need God’s grace to see God’s glory, for which we pray constantly.

The church should take a close look at the mission field and realize that one of the greatest needs is for more, many more, godly but also successful and effective men who are the type of men who can get the mission done!  

How might we raise up an enormous mission force even from our boys?  How might we lead them forward on the path from boyhood to manhood with a mission?


(The ideas of creating a manhood definition and a list of values come from Robert Lewis’ book, “Raising a Modern Day Knight.”)

Mission-Minded Children

We are blessed by our four young adult daughters who are all thoroughly mission-minded individuals.  Recently, I asked them, “If you were to encourage other parents, what were some of the things mom and I did that impacted you most in this area?”

Our Oldest Begins

“The first thing that comes to mind is reading the missionary biographies after dinner, I remember that we would SO look forward to those!  At times I would have rather read one of those then have dessert.  And I remember that we all wanted to be missionaries to different parts of the world based on these.  This is how I gained most of the knowledge about historical missionaries, because if we didn't read them I would know nothing about Mary Slessor (my favorite), George Mueller, Gladys Aylward, Amy Carmichael, or any others.”

In their excitement, our children would occasionally ask their friends about their own favorite missionary; but often others had no idea what a missionary even was.  I guess it is tough being a pastor’s kid at times.  

Experience Counts

All types of experiences prove valuable, from going, to sending, to supporting and to praying.  There are so many opportunities before us! Here are some more responses from the girls.

• Encouraging us to go on an evangelistic mission trip ourselves. “After the mission trip I was more mission-minded than before.”

• Hosting different missionaries in our home and hearing from them was cool too! We loved hearing stories and meeting people that do missions in different countries. 

• “Just reminding us to pray for the church when they were on mission trips, helped me think about missions a lot.” Especially, taking us to the World Christian Prayer Meetings at church, and telling us we had to pick one thing to pray for out loud.

• Supporting people financially and in other ways that go on trips was helpful. And it encouraged us to support our own endeavors, whether volunteer experiences, spiritual growth areas, or whatever.

Dad & Mom Both Push Mission

We pushed mission from the very beginning as part our our vision for our family.  As soon as we started receiving missionary newsletters as young parents we would put them in binders and use them in our times of family devotions during our prayer times. We even included mission readings as part of school, and they loved it.

Dad and mom need to go.  One daughter mentioned that we modeled for her how it all fits together--the strategy, fundraising, team dynamics, prayer, etc.  She remembered vividly that we shared stories with them and in front of the whole church with others who had gone.  These were stories about “PERSONAL experience,” and included pictures of those we met and who accepted Christ.

She went on to point out our “trusting and bold attitude towards missions.”  She went on to observe, “It's interesting because some people I have met at college get scared when I talk about going to India or a mission trip and because both you and mom are not afraid to let us go, then in turn I'm not afraid to step out into the world--God says to evangelize to the world and not just in our comfort zones!!”  Amen, to that!

More to Do and Learn

Children are a blessing; we received more information than expected.  It is always interesting what children remember and count as significant.  Certainly, there is a whole lot more we as parents can do to impart passion for the Mission of God in Christ to our children. 

You may have found many other creative and powerful ideas.  I would love to read your comments!  We still have two teenage boys at home and are considering what more to do to capture their hearts with the heart of God!

May God bless all you parenting efforts!