The Pulpit Bully

Have you ever cringed while listening to a sermon and afterward felt that your spirit was harmed rather than helped? If so, it might be because the preacher is a bully.

These types of preachers are aggressive in seeking to dominate others. They are often strident in their pronouncements. But, just as many of them are sly and secretly persuasive.

Preaching bullies do not preach the Bible properly, nor usually accurately. They confuse their role of faithful persuasive application with the Holy Spirit’s role of conviction and changing the heart.

There are at least three indicators of bullying from the pulpit, corresponding to their designs upon others’ thoughts, feeling and behaviors.

Control Thoughts

A pulpit bully uses his position of power and his knowledge to impose his viewpoint as the only option when there are other options. He draws unnecessary lines in the sand, mocks other viewpoints and casts suspicion on those who hold other views than his own. He prefers that people don’t think for themselves.

Instead, the preacher should help us think well biblically. He should respect other legitimate Christian viewpoints. He should take the opportunity to model for us how to rejoice in the richness of God’s Word and the glory of Christ.

Manipulate Feelings

A pulpit bully uses his platform to push people around until they feel the way he does about things. He moves people’s passions into conviction on some matters and not on others, until their emotions match his own. He defines the fruits of the Spirit in terms of his own character development, and denies and chides the experience of others.

Instead, the preacher should acknowledge the valid range of human emotions. He should respect people and the working of the Holy Spirit in His People. He should take the opportunity to celebrate the powerful purifying presence of the Spirit working Christlikeness in us.

Conform Behaviors

A pulpit bully uses his privilege to relentlessly advance his agenda and pressure others to get his way. He criticizes misbehavior at length, persists in addressing the same set of life issues and coerce our choices by fear. He works people over so they all look, speak and behave in a prescribed manner.

Instead, the preacher should trust his congregation and their spiritual judgment. He should not be afraid of disagreement or diversity. He should be patient with people as our heavenly Father is patient. He should take the opportunity to honor the lifelong process of Christian growth.

Advice to the Battered Ones

The Apostle Paul instructs pastors to pursue a different path: 1 Timothy 1:5 ESV “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.”

Bullying is using one’s position and power to intimidate and keep others in a position of weakness. Pulpit bullies do this through preaching. They do not respect the Word of God, the People of God, not really even God Himself!

If you face a bully in the pulpit week after week, just leave and find a preacher who thinks more highly of the calling of preaching. If not, you could end up destined to live life as a weak and abused Christian. Find a healthy godly church with a preacher that brings blessing and healing into your soul through the true Word of God.

Invite Them To The Table

Finding more leaders for our ministries and churches is a common goal.  Yet, there is a common problem of not seeing that they are right in front of our eyes.

Unfounded Complaints

This is the situation in numerous churches all around the globe.  The complaint is that hardly anyone is qualified or ready to lead as elders or ministry leaders in the church.  Larger ministry organizations make similar complaints.  There are not enough leaders with the experience to move into higher levels of leadership.  

Those at fault are the senior leaders themselves.  Either they haven’t developed the leaders they need, or they have unrealistic expectations for those who might join in the leadership.  It is a lack of leadership to complain about a lack of leaders.

The future leaders will always be the younger leaders.  And emerging leaders need to identified, valued, developed, trusted and given real leadership.  They need to be invited to the table.

Unfair Despising

It is because many of them are too young, we think.  They don’t know as much as we know.  They don’t have the experience we have.  They don’t understand the organizational history we understand.  The list of deficiencies can go on and on, and sadly it actually does in some churches and ministries.  

This is unfair.  And besides, this is actually a positive list, not a negative one, if a church or ministry is looking to the future for greater and growing Kingdom impact.  Those who are overly conservative in sharing leadership will find that they are primarily working with their close friends and are given more to cronyism than they perhaps realize.

We often forget that Timothy was only about 30 years of age when he led the Ephesus church and its church planting mission to the interior of Asia.  The Apostle Paul instructed Timothy, and by extension those older than he, on this matter.

1 Timothy 4:12 ESV “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”

There is little to fear and a whole lot to be gained by entrusting leadership to others.  Who might you be overlooking as having great potential for the Kingdom of God, for your church or ministry?  What do you think about inviting them to the leadership table?

Eight Guidelines For Public Scripture Reading

It is a distinct service to God and His People.  1 Timothy 4:13 ESV “. . . devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture . . .”

Here are eight general guidelines to practicing it more meaningfully.  I do hope you have the privilege of reading, and if not, then of listening to one who reads well.

1.  Dress appropriately.


This is upfront and in public.  So it does start with appearances.  It is an honorable act to show respect for people and for one’s position when up front reading the Word of God.  As a general rule, dress one step above the average attender.

2.  Select a good translation.  


Use the version most people in your church use.  But make sure it is a translation and not a paraphrase.  People want to hear the familiar and authoritative words of God.

3.  Use a printed Bible.

Do not read from a printout or any electronic device.  Those are fine for other situations.  But it looks better and fits the context better to be reading from a what is universally recognizable as a Bible.

4.  Be ready at the place.


Know when in the flow of the worship service you are supposed to start to make your way to the place of reading, whether it is a podium, lectern, pulpit or mark on the stage.  Plan to be up front on time.  This adds to the importance of what you are about to read.

5.  Simply announce the text you will be reading.


Please do not supply any personal commentary of any kind whatsoever.  Surely your personal experience with the text is valuable, but there is another time and place to share this.  For now, you have been charged to read Scripture and that alone.

6.  Start reading.


After announcing the text reference, read.  Do not ask people turn in their Bibles, or wait for them to do so.  Sometimes people just need to listen and listen only, without following along or even reading on a screen.

7.  Read well.


This is of utmost importance.  Practice reading out loud at home in advance.  You need to know the text—its divisions, emphases, pronunciation, cadence, et cetera.  Read a little louder than your normal voice, but not in a weird “holy” voice.  Keep a good pace.  Be lively and passionate about God’s Word; and honor and enjoy the text before the congregation.

8.  Don’t hurry.


Pause for one or two seconds when you arrive at the reading place.  And pause for a second of two after you finish reading before you leave.  Give people an opportunity to feel and reflect on what was read.

Obviously there is more to congregational worship than public Scripture reading.  But what about it?  Do we value this practice in and of itself?  Assuming we do, we should do it well.  And in doing so, many people will be blessed.

Top Ten Values For My Boys

I recently returned from a four day trip to the Sierra Nevada.  This was a planned manhood experience for my boys, 12 and 13 years old.  We spent quality time together, did tough things together, and had the types of conversations and fun men can only have when women are not around.  

Our Definition

I presented to them a framed copy of our definition of manhood and the top ten values that will get us there and keep us growing as men for a lifetime.  Theirs now hang in their bedrooms and mine in my office.  Our definition of being a man is a definition of action:  

“A man takes responsibility for those around him, and courageously leads them toward a better future, with God’s truth and in His love, all for the glory of Jesus Christ.”

Each of us has memorized this definition, and we even quiz one another to keep it fresh in our minds.

Our Top Ten Values

We have been discussing this definition and the following ten values for a few months.  Certainly there are many more values, but ten is a good number, and from these we are able to touch on many other associated values and issues.

1.  Spiritual Wisdom


Romans 8:5b–6 “Those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

2.  Loyalty


Hosea 6:6 “For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”

3.  Integrity


Proverbs 10:9 “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.”

4.  Generosity


Proverbs 19:6 “Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts.”

5.  Purity


1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”

6.  Perseverance


Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

7.  Self-Discipline


1 Timothy 4:7b–8 “Train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”

8.  Honor


1 Peter 2:17 “Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.”

9.  Humility


Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

10.  Sacrificial Leadership


Matthew 20:26b–27 “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Discipleship is Our Work

One of the best lessons I have learned from other men about raising sons is that we as fathers need to commit ourselves both to times of teaching and to living life together.  Neither is sufficient in itself, and both require intentionality.

We can’t just rely on our occasional instruction, or the instruction our sons may get from pastors and teachers, even mothers and others.  Fathers need to do it themselves.  We can’t just rely on our sons observing our lives and hoping they make the right conclusions by themselves.  Fathers need to guide their understanding.

Our discussions take place over breakfast on Fridays.  These are not intense scary times, but intentional honest times, and usually kept brief.  These days we use three simple questions:  

• What is the value and why is it important?  
• How does it help in navigating life for success before God and in the world?  
• What might it look like for us?  


Then, we share stories of examples we have witnessed or experienced, both positive and negative.  That’s it.  Done.  We can encourage and challenge one another from the definition and the values list during the week.

An Enormous Mission Force

When a definition of manhood and a top ten values list is set within the larger context of God’s Mission then they become even more powerful in the lives of men and boys.

It is a huge mistake to think that the goal in all of this is to raise sons with Christian character who love Jesus and will love their families someday.  This is good but far from good enough.  That goal is too quaint, too small, too simple, and just plain short-sighted.  

Many Christian parents believe that raising good moral children who can quote Bible verses will result in great Christian leaders.  However, it is naive to think that a strong personal vision for life and community, and strategic involvement for the Kingdom of God will automatically emerge.  

Many stop at character, but boys need more.  They need a grand vision, a cause with clarity to live and die for!  This would be Christ’s Mission for the world.  They need a leader to follow who will take them places and give them experiences.  They need a man to affirm God’s calling on their lives and their unique gifting from Him.  They need godly mission-minded men to lead them into purpose-filled manhood.  And they need God’s grace to see God’s glory, for which we pray constantly.

The church should take a close look at the mission field and realize that one of the greatest needs is for more, many more, godly but also successful and effective men who are the type of men who can get the mission done!  

How might we raise up an enormous mission force even from our boys?  How might we lead them forward on the path from boyhood to manhood with a mission?


(The ideas of creating a manhood definition and a list of values come from Robert Lewis’ book, “Raising a Modern Day Knight.”)

Spiritual Maturity Is Not Just For Elders

How should churches use these lists?  How would you advise new churches on the mission field?

The lists of Elder qualifications, (which can be found in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1), are not just for those aspiring to the church office.  These lists contain indicators of spiritual maturity that give definition to every Christian’s personal goal.  Elders must be examples of each of these indicators in their personal relationships, character and family management.  How so?

Seven Notes on Using the Lists

1. These spiritual maturity indicators are not to be ignored, or gone over lightly, in order to be expedient in a selection process. Laying on hands hastily can end up being a costly and damaging mistake for a congregation.
2. They are not to be used in a manner that imposes additional standards (often by means of unusual definitions) that are not really in Scripture. The list is not to be redefined in terms so that only an elite few pass the test.
3. Be careful of personality preferences. We can rationalize a man’s qualification because we are partial to his personality. We can likewise exclude a man from qualification because we are prejudicial against his personality. Stick to the list.
4. Remember that the lists are there to guide observation of how a man stands at present, not in his past. People change--sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Take time to focus consideration on the present.
5. Take note that these qualification are going to be somewhat relative to a church’s maturity. Think of the hundreds of new church plants of the Apostle Paul on his missionary journeys and his practice of establishing leadership early on in them (Acts 14:23). And yet, as churches matured the standards likely increased, not only in spirituality but in quality of leadership. 
6. Realize that these lists are not exhaustive lists of spirituality. Together the lists contain selected items that deserved special attention, and are still deserving of special attention. Think through all of Scripture when thinking about spiritual maturity.
7. Be gracious.  Elders need not be perfect; nor will they ever even be near perfect. But they do need to be examples of each of these items even while they are still growing in them. Thank God for the gifted leaders He has given to His churches!

More than Maturity is Required

It is important to note that this list is not all that is required to be an Elder.  These are basics and specifics necessary in the realm of spiritual maturity.  Again every Christian ought to, indeed many Christians do, attain to this level of spiritual maturity.

Just because a man is spiritually mature doesn’t mean he should be made an Elder.  He also must be gifted for leadership and teaching.  As an Overseer he needs to “lead well with diligence” (Romans 12:8) and “be able to instruct in sound doctrine and rebuke.” (Titus 1:9)  These cannot be overlooked or only given a cursory assessment either.  

Leadership and leadership structure is vital to the spiritual health and success of every church.  It will effect direction and vision for the long-term; and it will effect quality of ministry and quality of life for many people.  

Being involved in mission work often leads to involvement in church leadership issues.  Sometimes this is direct and hands-on, while at other times it takes the forms of coaching or advising.  Encourage a wise and spiritual use of the lists as intended by God.

Scriptural Snippets And Sidebars

So often in our worship gatherings we do not “lead off” with the Word of God.  Why not?  Until the Word is spoken we can’t offer the worship our hearts, minds and souls want to offer.  We do not yet sense that we are His.  And meaning is not yet present.  Our worship and our gatherings suffer because of this all too common weak confidence in the Scripture.  

A Foil To A Praise Psalm

Recently, I preached Psalm 33.  One of the sections of this Psalm is about the effective power of God’s word and how considering this elicits our praise.  

Psalm 33:4–9 ESV “For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. He loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of the steadfast love of the LORD. By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, and by the breath of his mouth all their host. He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap; he puts the deeps in storehouses. Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him! For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.”

At another venue a few weeks after that I was at a worship event where the Word of God was largely absent.  It was an interesting contrast.  The leaders were sincere, but were simply telling us things about God that we knew were in the Bible.  The music was beautiful and true, but again composed of merely human wording.  Much, much later in the meeting the Word of God was introduced and we felt Christian finally; at least I did.

Our words are just words, but God’s Word is effective.  We can’t deeply encourage one another without the Word of God.  We end up simply making stuff up to say that seems like it ought to be encouraging, and reading the Bible along with our story as a supporting sidebar.  And no matter how wonderful the songs are that we are singing, we can’t leave it to the songs to convey snippets of Scripture as if that were enough.

Basic Instructions On Reading Scripture

Scripture should not merely be read in snippets and sidebars as it seems useful; rather we should declare it and read it publicly as instructed in 1 Timothy 4:13 “. . . devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture . . . .”

Don’t hurry.  Pause for one or two seconds before you begin reading.  And then pause for a second of two after you finish before you leave the front or sit down.  Announce the text you will be reading by reference only.  There is no need to supply personal commentary.  Simply read the Bible.

Read well.  Practice reading aloud beforehand, if you have the time.  Know the text--its divisions, emphases, pronunciation, cadence, et cetera.  Read a little louder than your normal voice, but not in a weird “holy” voice.  Keep a good pace.  Be lively and passionate about God’s Word; and honor and enjoy the text in front of everyone.

Our Words Are Not As Good As God’s Words

The Word of God brings focus, power, authority, truth, clarity, renewal and transformation.  This is because God is speaking, not us.  He is the One who can bring such blessings into our worship, our meetings and our lives.

If we lead off with the Word of God, at least somewhere near the beginning, before we move too far into our meeting, then we will find Psalm 33:1 much easier to accomplish:  “Shout for joy in the LORD, O you righteous!  Praise befits the upright.”