Four Questions To Have You Enjoying People And Sharing Life

Good conversations can get challenging after the standard exchanges about family and career wrap up.  But, dialogue need not be generic, or trail off in awkward silence.  We can keep the discussion lively by asking more specific questions about the many interests and concerns we share as people.  

It might be as simple as adding a twist to the standard family and career topics by backing up to earlier times such us childhood, getting started in life or one another’s first jobs.  You might think about the person’s current stage in life.  Listen for what is occupying his thoughts, or taking up her time these days, whether it is a matter of great excitement or great concern.  

Whatever it takes, simply find out what people value or feel strongly about.  Then take time to learn by asking good questions.  There is almost always the potential for a most fascinating conversation. 

Four Sets of Questions

Ask your new friend to tell you more about a particular event, accomplishment, relationship, experience or ministry dream.  Personal storytelling builds a relationship, as we enter into one another’s lives.  Keep the story moving along by asking questions about the specific people, setting, plot line, conflict and resolution.  Stories are the most interesting things about us as people.

Ask the “how” questions.  How did you go about accomplishing that, it sounds difficult?  How were you able to handle that?  How do you make sense of those events?  Did this change your life or perspective in any way?  How have you seen God’s grace or wisdom at work?  Observing how people process allows you to ask more intelligent “why” questions.

Ask the “why” questions.  I am curious, why did you choose that way?  What led you to that course of action?  Would you go about it the same way again?  Even asking a series of non-annoying of “why” questions will pay off in deeper revelation and understanding of a person’s commitments.  

To close out the discussion topic you might ask, “What has been most fulfilling or meaningful to you?” or “What has brought you the most joy?”  Such questions open up the opportunity to listen for core motivations.  And this is a great time to dialogue about ultimate meaning and serving the purposes of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

God’s Purposes Do Come Out in the End

This is not a step-by-step guide, but a tool that allows for free flowing and Spirit-led conversations, using an unlimited number of questions.  Thoroughness is not possible, nor the goal, rather relationship is the goal.  This is about true interest in another person and celebrating God‘s working in their lives.  

It is about sharing life and even revealing the same about yourself just as you are asking for openness from another.  And by integrating faith questions all along the way you can serve both purposes of evangelism and encouragement, whatever the Lord chooses to do in your time together.

It’s all about relationship, whether you are building significant partnership relationships, or simply seeking to know others and share life with them, especially the life there is in Christ.

Clearing The Stewardship Smokescreen

This short term mission trip costs about $18,000 for the team.  Is it worth it?  That compassion project will easily run $50,000.  Is it worth it?  Supporting the long term missionary family costs about $120,000 a year.  Is it worth it?  I believe it is usually safest to say that it is worth it--and more than worth it--most of the time.

Don’t Measure the Mission by the Money 

How do we measure worth?  It depends on what work is being accomplished, perhaps uniquely by this team, that project or the missionary family.  It depends on the vision, values and commitments of the congregations involved.  To be honest, it is difficult to assess upfront all that God will cause to fall out in His gracious plans for everyone involved. 

When the question, “Is it worth it?” is brought up, usually that is not the main concern.  It is simply the money, and not the mission.  We devote way more energy to the money matters than the actual mission matters when it comes to doing mission through the local church.  

Some say the money could be better spent supporting long term missionaries, short term teams, national Christians, relief efforts or whatever, and usually the whatever is closely related to the particular mission with which the one complaining is involved.  

Arguments are made about how money could be spent more effectively, strategically, or wisely.  But, we don’t know as much about these things as we think we do, so we don’t need to spend such an inordinate amount of time on them.  

Besides, this assumes that there is a limit to the funds, which there is not.  It also assumes that the goal is more monetary than it really is.  We are to be good stewards of entrusted resources surely; but we are not the stewards of great importance we often claim.

Love the Mission More than the Money

Everyone knows that Americans love their money.  In addition, American Christians also love one another’s money, being ever so eager to advise on the best use of it for God’s work in mission.  In our churches, money discussions can make it look like we are very concerned about the mission, but often it is simply about being involved with the decisions surrounding the use of the money.  

It seems like everyone has a better way to spend the money.  But, money just isn’t that important.  God already owns it all and can move it however and whenever He so desires.  He can work without it and with it . . . and He does!

We are a successful people who also love the Mission of God.  But, we err when we seek to measure spiritual results in human terms and with worldly reasoning on effectiveness, especially cost-effectiveness.  We need to love the mission itself more than the money involved in the mission.

Give More and More and Spend More and More for the Mission

It is more of a privilege to have money and to spend it than we have yet realized.  There is great encouragement all throughout 2 Corinthians 8-9; for example, 

“The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. . . . And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. . . . He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.”

Who are we doing this for?  Not ourselves, but for the mission goal, for God and His glory.  God gives us money to spend it, not to save it, or pretend that we are so wise in moving His plans forward with our skill at success in this world applied to His mission.  

What if we just spent our money in God’s mission without over-thinking it?  What if we just decided to do mission and spend the money, whatever it costs to get it done?  

Churches Are Not Meant To Be Clearinghouses

Not for Local Ministry

The eager visitor who was checking us out for her own ends asked, “Why do you think God put your church right here where He did?”  Obviously, she already knew the answer; it had something to do with the ministry program she was involved with in the community.  

I could barely begin my response before she began to educate me about God’s will for our church.  I listened politely and attentively under the restraining influence of the Holy Spirit until an opportunity was my turn to speak.  

Then, I started to explain who we are and what our calling was as a church, hoping I could win her over to the larger vision, and the vision of the team.  She quickly glazed over and excused herself never to return to our church, probably searching out another place to plant her agenda.

This is a cynical way to tell the story of this ten-minute encounter with (if I got to know her) probably a nice Christian woman eager to serve the Lord.  However, she is but one example of many misguided people I have met who confuse their personal calling with everyone else’s calling, or a whole church’s calling.  

Not for Global Ministry

Many pastors cringe when the missionary shows up to speak.  Unfortunately, in their passion, they often present their missionary project, agency, people group, or whatever as the most important and strategic thing that we all should be doing.  

Then, pastors have to sort through all of the information, counsel their congregations, and direct them back to their broader vision and goals as a church.  This is not as uncommon as you might think. 

Part of the problem is that our prevailing practice of missionary calling is built on an overly individualistic understanding.  A person receives a calling from God, then their church is supposed to confirm this and follow the person.  The agency checks in with their church like checking on a resume reference, then hires the individual ratifying their calling and using that person and their churches to further their own goals.

When Churches Lead, People Will Follow

This illustrates why churches need clarity of vision and specific goals accompanied by clear strategic planning.  It is when churches know their calling, where they are going and what they are doing, that individuals will be inspired and start finding their calling within their church’s calling.  This is when ministry gets really exciting and a whole lot more fun.

Local churches should not function as clearinghouses for every good ministry idea that comes along.  If allowed to be so, there are least a few every week that will accost pastors and church leaders.  Some churches actually think being a clearinghouse is the path to unleashing ministry and influencing the world with the Gospel.  But, simply promoting a flurry of ministry activity does not lead to long term effectiveness. 

A church must have a strategic and compelling vision.  This is what energizes people and focuses ministries for success.  It leads to more fulfilling and effective partnerships.  And it provides church leaders with more people coming up with more good ideas who desire to be guided more successfully in their work abroad and at home.

It's All About Who You Know & Where They Live

A few years ago while trekking with a seasoned missionary we got to talking about the bigger picture of missions. I had finished reading some weighty books in missiology and some others by popular leading thinkers and doers, and wanted to get my friend’s opinion and thoughts on how this good stuff plays out on the field.

I mentioned a well known mission expert and his latest book. My friend had not heard of him or his book. I wondered how this could be, since my friend was so accomplished in the area of missiology himself. So, I explained the thesis and some of the ideas. The issues were relevant and he appreciated the usefulness of the insights and we interacted for a while. 

Then I mentioned a second book. He had not heard about that one either. I really respected this friend of mine, but was starting to think that he had been gone too long and had lost touch. How about the journals, surely he kept up with these, even wrote for them on occasion? No. 

The conversation turned as he now mentioned some names to me I didn’t recognize. He went on to talk about great advances taking place in Kingdom work in this particular country and asked me if I had heard the stories or knew the leaders. I knew a couple of the stories, none of the leaders though; and so, I really knew very little at all. 

He kindly proceeded to explain to me that the people and ideas that matter the most in his context are the ones right there, not in America. And they included nationals as well as expatriates working together, perhaps no-names elsewhere but respected in their context because of their work. I knew this, but now I knew it better. 

There is a mysteriously long list of names in Romans 16:1-16. Some of them we know something about; most of them we know nothing about. As we read through the list we wonder who all these people were. What did they do for the Gospel’s advance? What were their amazing stories? And why were they so important? The individuals and the ideas that are most valuable depend on the context and the needs. 

Today, there are even more Gospel servants all around the world, and many of them have great ideas to share and stories to tell. It is important to learn from everyone. Sharing our connections and telling the untold stories brings encouragement, develops partnerships and enhances everyone’s missionary practice.

Subjugating Demons: Getting The Emphasis Right

Seventy-two of Jesus’ disciples return from their short-term mission trip and give Jesus a report.  He conducts the debriefing and provides fascinating commentary in Luke 10.  

The Mission Report by the Disciples

Luke 10:17 ESV “The seventy-two returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!””

Apparently, the mission had gone very well.  The 72 have been and are likely still very busy telling one another their “war stories.”  The mission was successful all around--in works of power, in preaching, in strategy, and in many coming to salvation.

They report their amazement at the subjection of the demons in the name of Jesus.  They have the right perspective--it is about Jesus’ authority and glory, not theirs.  They would have witnessed demons coming out of the possessed and their oppression of communities coming to an end.  They would have observed their influence over people for sin and believing what is false being greatly reduced.  Bottom line, they would have seen many come to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, and the beginning of many new churches.

This one recorded comment of theirs might be their focus; or maybe it is just an example of the types of things they were saying.  Maybe it is because this aspect of the mission was a great surprise to them.  It could even be recorded because of Jesus’ response and its importance to Luke and the Church.

The Mission Analysis by the Lord Jesus

Luke 10:18–20 ESV “And he said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.””

The comments of Jesus whole-heartedly match the disciples’ excitement and success.  He too greatly delights in the defeat of Satan by their recent work in the mission campaign.  The forces of evil are shaking as they are being routed and reminded of their coming eternal doom.  “The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.” (1 John 3:8b)  The Mission of the Church continues the plundering of Satan’s house until Christ Himself returns in glory (Luke 11:20-22).

Jesus makes it clear that He gave disciples great authority for that brief mission tour and for the whole of the Mission.  They will trample on snakes and scorpions – a reference to Satan and demons and all the powers of the enemy. (v.20; Genesis 3:15; Deuteronomy 8:15; Psalm 91:13)  Nothing can really harm us as His disciples in any ultimate sense.  This doesn’t mean there won’t be difficulties, discouragements, and sufferings.  But, in facing them we can exhibit great courage and boldness, being strong in the strength of His might and fighting with Divine power (Ephesians 6:10-12; 2 Corinthians 10:3-5).

Our Lord Jesus then goes on to point out that the joy in this power over the demons is not the ultimate joy.  He is not saying they shouldn’t be joyful in such spiritual victories.  Don’t make this common mistake.  He is simply using language of comparison.  This is not a rebuke; it is a clarification of perspective--getting the emphasis right.

True and foundational joy is not in the power, but in the security of one’s own salvation. And the emphasis needs to remain here.  It is this security that will truly empower us, give us constant joy, fearlessness and inspire us to continue.  But, again, by all means take great joy in the power, as well!

God Will Soon Crush Satan Under Our Feet

Gospel ministry and mission should be characterized by going on the offensive against the evil one.  We should not be playing church cautiously in a defensive posture.  We should go on the attack with the Gospel and our authority in Jesus’ Name.  We should be fearless, having the greatest advantage.  And we should be joyful about it like the disciples.  We are crushing the forces of evil and Jesus is “looking on” with great joy!

Jesus’ final words of analysis and joy that day:
Luke 10:23–24 ESV “Then turning to the disciples he said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see! For I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.””

Core Values Shape Each Church's Story

There are many values that churches hold in common, such as, grace, faith, love, hope, the Word, evangelism, discipleship, community, spirituality, et cetera.  And then each church will describe them a little differently and put different weight on certain ones.  Understanding broad Biblical values for life and ministry is important, but a list of our favorite value terms is not sufficient to drive our ministries and guide us in fulfilling our calling as a church.

Core values are more than general values; they are the values that are most prominent, characteristic, and ultimately unique to a particular congregation.  They reveal the spiritual passions and ministry motivations of a particular congregation, and have greater power than general values to shape its future.

Core values define us a church--who we are and what we are about as a particular community of believers.  They remind us of the common commitments we cherish and hold most dear.  They express more completely our preferred culture than a simple list of general Christian values, even if somewhat nuanced.

It is of vital importance to articulate core values, know them and know them well, because they, more than any other single factor, will inform our vision and direct our strategies.  They will guide us in what we do and what we don’t do; they will provide answers to the question, “why?”

At Lancaster EFC we were guided by six core values, three of which were missional (and are shared below).  These pushed us forward and continuously challenged us to stay focused on fulfilling our unique calling as a church, rather than just doing generic church things, or becoming a clearinghouse for multitudes of good ministry ideas.  We made decisions as a leadership team with these in front of us, and we talked about them as a congregation while doing ministry together.

Adventurous Faith

We are committed to being a missional church that takes great risks, without fear of failure, for the advancement of the fame of Jesus Christ.  We seek to develop emerging leaders in our church body and to cultivate and resource their God-given ideas.  At Lancaster Evangelical Free Church, we believe that life and ministry are meant to be experienced as a faith adventure with God.

We are committed to being a missionary people, strategic in establishing healthy, reproducing churches in North America and, most especially, among those who have never heard the Gospel.  These people are our highest evangelistic priority; we are intentional in getting this done.  We thrive upon the vision of the glory of God among all peoples and their full enjoyment of Him.

Investing Outside Ourselves

We are committed to providing the vital basic ministries for our church life together, but we will invest most of our ministry resources, energy, and people in outreach to the world.  As a church, we want to experience how much more blessed it is to give than to receive.  Our focus is outward with a long-term perspective for what God might do through us.

We are committed to evangelical ecumenism, that is, fellowship and ministry partnership with evangelicals from various perspectives.  Viewing collaboration as stimulating and productive, we endeavor together to creatively engage and transform the world with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Our congregation affirms each member’s God-given calling for the furtherance of His glory throughout society and culture.

Earnest Discipleship

We are committed to develop fully as genuine and earnest disciples of Jesus Christ, living just as He has taught us.  Determined to grow up into the fullness of Christ and be worthy of our high calling, we graciously encourage one another to excel still more in our spiritual disciplines and in our disciple-making.

We are committed to give up our lives and resources; and have resolved up front that this will mean great sacrifice and suffering as we fulfill our calling, but also the greatest of joys.  As a church family, we uphold and encourage one another to persevere in grace for the glory of Christ in His Church.  With a resilient faith, we share with one another the peace and hope of the Kingdom of God.