What Would Help The Most?

“No one has asked us that before,” answered the national partners in Haiti, in response to the question asked by my American pastor friend.  Wouldn’t it be natural to ask, “What would help the most right now?”  He was surprised.

I shared with him a similar experience of mine from this past year.  While in Asia connecting an American church with an Asian church, the Americans asked, “What would be most helpful to you?”

Our Asian friends were surprised.  This almost brought tears to their eyes, tears of joy, for they replied, “You are the only ones who have ever asked us that.”

Questions We Ask Often

Sometimes we think about what has been helpful in other locations and ask if similar programs would be helpful, assuming they would be.  They might very well be, but we can fail to listen to other perspectives.

Other times we come with a particular ministry idea we want to pass along because we are good at it, have spent a lot of time developing it, and it has helped others.  We can be too eager to push our product.  This misses an even larger blessing.

Another common situation is when we have been working with our partners for a long period of time, we assume that what we have done before is what is still needed.  No one says anything because it is still a little bit useful.  But we could be doing so much more and being so much more useful.

The questions we ask so often are related to what we think might help, what we want to do to help, what has helped elsewhere, or what has helped at another time.

These are not necessarily bad questions, but what do our partners really need from us?  Do we know?  Are we sure?

Try A New Question

Go ahead and ask “What would help the most right now?”  There might not be an answer right away.  Leave it open-ended.  Let the question linger.  Be praying that God would open everyone’s minds and hearts, and bless the upcoming conversations.

Perhaps your partners need time to think.  Maybe they are not used to being asked this.  It is also possible they might be hesitant to tell you the truth.  But, keep asking and be open to talk about anything.

By processing together your friendships and partnership will deepen.  Also consider sharing your own needs.  Be transparent yourself and open to receiving from others.  Who knows, you might find the help you need, too!

Eventually the conversations will begin.  Follow the answers and take your time exploring them.  Keep in mind that this a good question to ask not just once, but more often on occasion, because situations and opportunities change over time.

These ongoing discussions will become some of your most rewarding.  They will be filled with many new ministry ideas and exciting possibilities for the advance of the Gospel!