Married Couples In The Crosshairs

Married couples require special attention when serving on short term mission teams.  

Strength and Weakness

Most often they are strong assets to the team, but sometimes they are not because of the unique pressures they are subjected to by being on the team together.  Those who are especially vulnerable are those recently married, new to mission work, and those with many stressors in their lives back home.

If the husband and wife have ministered together before in a cross-cultural context they will definitely be an asset to the team.  But, if they haven't they are most likely in for a surprise.  Even those with healthy marriages will be challenged more than they think and need to be prepared.

When serving on a team that is attempting to make significant evangelistic inroads into a region where there is strong resistance to the Gospel, the spiritual warfare will be intense.  Married couples will be in the crosshairs of the enemy.

All married couples have relationship struggles they are working on.  These will be intensified on the mission trip both due to the nature of the whole experience and also the evil one taking advantage of their weakened position. 

For example, married couples often find themselves fearing for one another’s safety more than they do back home, often unreasonably, and then they are not sure why.  Adding to this stress is the fact that times of intimacy can be hard to find because of the unique busyness and exhaustion the mission work demands.  

Helping the Couple and the Team

As a mission team leader, you will need to be prepared to do some basic marriage counseling.  This starts with the pre-trip training.  It is wise to let your married couples know about the challenges they will be facing and help them develop a prayerful mindset and strategy to face them.

When on the trip, be gentle in dealing with them when they are struggling.  Most likely they will be embarrassed knowing that the team might even know about their conflicts and be concerned for them and lose focus on the mission.

Remind them of the growth opportunity.  Encourage them to table some topics for when they get home.  Advise them to be extra gracious with one another while on the mission and not miss the opportunities in front of them, which is the reason they signed up in the first place!

Philippians 1:27 ESV “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel,”

As a practical matter, you might want to put the husband and wife on separate sub-teams so each of them can have their own experiences of success and encouragement.  This will also give them opportunities to serve and interact with the larger team and help maintain unity and focus for everyone.

Short term mission trips are wonderful for married couples to experience together.  Just be selective on which could you take along, and how many you can handle.  Be spiritually perceptive as a team leader in order to help your team with their relationships and to successfully accomplish their mission together as a team.

What Religion Are You?

In many parts of the world you can tell a person’s religion by the clothes they wear.

A Common Question

Where I have been traveling and ministering lately, it is very common for people to ask, “what religion are you?”  It is a question of genuine interest.  It is a question meant to lead to a religious conversation.

At first, I was surprised by this openness to discuss matters of such significance as God and our proper relationship to Him.  I have enjoyed a number of these conversations, from a wide range of belief systems.

But I also learned very quickly that this seeming openness turns out so often to be nothing more than a front for an opportunity to promote one’s own obscure religious sect with it’s smiling heavy-set guru.

An Uncommon Question

In the USA one of the quickest and surest ways to offend someone is to ask him or her, “what religion are you?”  And in our present cultural climate there is a high likelihood that you will be talking with a “none,” so the answer is going to be boring or undefined spiritual nonsense.

We might be afraid to ask because we expect closed responses.  We expect offense, anger or disgust that we would dare touch on such a personal and potentially politically-charged subject.

But I have found that such closed responses are very thin.  People are often closed but open.  They are waiting for you and me to ask one or two more questions, and then they will be glad to enter a discussion.

Push Through to the Openness

So, might we find ways to ask the question, “what religion are you?” and find the openness that is behind the closed-ness?

People want to relax and discuss.  We need not fear or take offense at people’s initial responses.  We are not promoters of some man-made religion that will make people feel better about themselves.

We enjoy honest dialogue and the opportunity to show how Jesus Christ brings meaning, order and happiness to all aspects of our personal lives and our life together in community.

Pray That Other People’s Prayers Get Answered First

Your friends might pray better prayers than you do.

The Praying Prayer Team

I have many friends who regularly pray for me, my family and my ministry.  Sometimes, I wish I could listen in while they are praying.  This is because I know them and how spiritually-minded they are.  I am confident they are praying for my best and for the advance of the Gospel of the Kingdom through me.

One reason I would like to listen is to hear how the Holy Spirit might be leading them to pray for God’s will for my ministry.  But, I don’t need to hear their prayers because I will see the results of their prayers soon enough!

Borrowing Their Prayers

Sometimes I have a hard time praying for myself.  The same is true for my ministry.  I might just be tired, or tired of praying the same things over and over.  And I am sure I don’t see all the things for which I should be praying.

Every so often I start by praying, “Lord answer the prayers of Dave & Beth, Bala & Carol, Tim & Lisa, Tim & Michelle, Raymy & Jennifer, Brian & Pearl, Bob & Pam, John & Debbie on my behalf.”  These dear friends form my core prayer team.  Other days, the Lord will bring to mind other prayerful friends.  Whatever these people have prayed is surely good.

A Really Good Solution

This kind of praying opens my mind to the broader purposes and workings of God in the world and our lives.  I end up praying for those who are praying for me, and our partnership in the Gospel is strengthened!

Have you ever noticed how the Apostle Paul truly valued the prayers of his mission partners?  He understood prayer to be a powerful means of support, encouragement and actually making a difference in his ministry.

2 Corinthians 1:11 ESV “You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.” 

Colossians 4:3 ESV “At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ . . ." 

Ephesians 6:18–19 ESV “praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel," 

Romans 15:30 ESV “I appeal to you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf,”

It is wonderful to know that we are co-workers through our prayers.  Pray for those who are praying for you, that God answer their prayers for your ministry even before He answers your own.

Discipleship Without Evangelism

There is a lot of discussion these days about recovering “discipleship” in our churches.

Discipleship Definitions

It can be confusing listening and reading about the call to return to discipleship.  It seems there are almost as many definitions as there are leaders and authors.

Some advocate the practice of one-to-one mentoring, small groups or meeting in triads.  Some promote educational programs to teach the basics of the faith.  Some crusade for intentionality by living missional lives in a missional community.  Some use the term to refer to holy living, calling for radical obedience and accountability.  Some encourage greater involvement in serving the church, community and world.

Whichever approach to discipleship is preferred, everyone is pursuing the same goal of making us all better Christ-followers.  However, one thing is often missing.

One Thing Missing

That one thing is evangelism.  Without actually doing evangelism, discipleship is not really discipleship.  And the hoped for results from whatever discipleship approach is taken will not be realized.

We should examine how Jesus discipled His chosen twelve disciples.  He had them minister alongside Him, and eventually He sent them out on evangelistic missions and expected reproduction (e.g., Luke 9:1-6; 10:1-24).

Evangelism is not hinting to people about Christ, nor is it living out a better morality, nor is it inviting them to a church program.  Talking a lot about evangelism and offering many seminars isn’t going to lead to actual evangelism either.  We have to actually evangelize, that is tell people the Gospel message.  And we disciple others by having them learn this by doing it. 

It Is Necessary

The truth is we rarely do it because we are afraid.  And this is one reason why some make doing evangelism unnecessary for a disciple.  After all it is not a significant part of many churches’ discipleship emphases or programs.  More people will sign up this way.

Discipleship approaches without evangelism will eventually frustrate both the leaders and the participants with limited results.  Discipleship approaches that include evangelism will lead to much more visible and lasting success.

Let’s be clear when we talk about discipleship what it is we actually mean by the term.  And even more importantly, let’s not forget to include practical evangelism as part of the method of making disciples of Jesus Christ.