Married Couples In The Crosshairs

Married couples require special attention when serving on short term mission teams.  

Strength and Weakness

Most often they are strong assets to the team, but sometimes they are not because of the unique pressures they are subjected to by being on the team together.  Those who are especially vulnerable are those recently married, new to mission work, and those with many stressors in their lives back home.

If the husband and wife have ministered together before in a cross-cultural context they will definitely be an asset to the team.  But, if they haven't they are most likely in for a surprise.  Even those with healthy marriages will be challenged more than they think and need to be prepared.

When serving on a team that is attempting to make significant evangelistic inroads into a region where there is strong resistance to the Gospel, the spiritual warfare will be intense.  Married couples will be in the crosshairs of the enemy.

All married couples have relationship struggles they are working on.  These will be intensified on the mission trip both due to the nature of the whole experience and also the evil one taking advantage of their weakened position. 

For example, married couples often find themselves fearing for one another’s safety more than they do back home, often unreasonably, and then they are not sure why.  Adding to this stress is the fact that times of intimacy can be hard to find because of the unique busyness and exhaustion the mission work demands.  

Helping the Couple and the Team

As a mission team leader, you will need to be prepared to do some basic marriage counseling.  This starts with the pre-trip training.  It is wise to let your married couples know about the challenges they will be facing and help them develop a prayerful mindset and strategy to face them.

When on the trip, be gentle in dealing with them when they are struggling.  Most likely they will be embarrassed knowing that the team might even know about their conflicts and be concerned for them and lose focus on the mission.

Remind them of the growth opportunity.  Encourage them to table some topics for when they get home.  Advise them to be extra gracious with one another while on the mission and not miss the opportunities in front of them, which is the reason they signed up in the first place!

Philippians 1:27 ESV “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel,”

As a practical matter, you might want to put the husband and wife on separate sub-teams so each of them can have their own experiences of success and encouragement.  This will also give them opportunities to serve and interact with the larger team and help maintain unity and focus for everyone.

Short term mission trips are wonderful for married couples to experience together.  Just be selective on which could you take along, and how many you can handle.  Be spiritually perceptive as a team leader in order to help your team with their relationships and to successfully accomplish their mission together as a team.