Truth can be spoken with gentleness or harshness. Truth can also be spoken with knowledge or foolishness.
Proverbs 15:1–2 ESV “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.”
Handling Delicate Situations
When we find ourselves in situations charged with the potential for conflict, having emotional restraint and self-control in speaking is crucial.
We must speak thoughtful words, and with judicious timing. Sometimes even starting a difficult conversation with words of comfort will be a good strategy to restore people to proper reason.
Harsh words are quick and careless and incite people to anger. More literally here, it is “a word of pain.” Notice it only takes one word to inflame emotions in contrast with the carefully worded longer response of the “soft answer.”
Delicate situations require spiritual diplomacy for resolution. In addition, further wisdom is required in order to know in which situation this proverb will apply. For not all difficult situations need or will benefit from conversations.
Adding Knowledge Helps
Notice that the wise person speaks into problematic situations in such a way as to commend knowledge. This involves attaching knowledge to the truth spoken so that it is satisfying. The wise person uses knowledge of life, people and Scripture rightly and effectively to help others and improve everyone’s situations.
Of course, we still can not control how others will respond to truth spoken calmly and reasonably. But, the next verse declares that Yahweh watches, Proverbs 15:3 ESV “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.” And so as the wise, we will have a vision much larger than immediate solutions and harmony.
The fool simply gushes forth words because the foolish person is not interested in knowledge, or greater understanding. This person is the same as the one speaking the harsh words earlier, not considering what is being said in the conversation, or how it is being said.
The words of the foolish person may indeed contain some truth, but without knowledge they sound more like folly and end up as foolishness. There will be significant loss to everyone involved because a greater conflict is now inevitable. Handling sensitive situations with recklessness often results is ruined reputations, damaged relationships and even material loss.
Society is Unhelpful Much of the Time
Hostile speech abounds in our society these days. Simply listen to talk radio, watch opinion television or read internet chatter. But do not listen to these too much, because they will dramatically impact your own attitudes and behaviors, and eventually your relationships. This is not how we are to speak.
Instead, we are called to bring life and healing to the world. As the next verse states in Proverbs 15:4 ESV “A gentle tongue is a tree of life.” The Hebrew for “gentle tongue” is more literally a “healing tongue.”
Surely, we all have numerous examples from our lives to illustrate both of the approaches to sticky situations. It is good to review our real life examples and learn from them, so we can grow in the Gospel of grace. Ephesians 4:15 ESV “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.”
So, what about those emotionally charged conversations that you have been pressing without much success? Maybe Proverbs 15:1-2 can give you a new perspective and tactics you might try? Ask the Lord for greater wisdom, courage, insightful action and thoughtful speech.
Proverbs 15:1–2 ESV “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.”
Handling Delicate Situations
When we find ourselves in situations charged with the potential for conflict, having emotional restraint and self-control in speaking is crucial.
We must speak thoughtful words, and with judicious timing. Sometimes even starting a difficult conversation with words of comfort will be a good strategy to restore people to proper reason.
Harsh words are quick and careless and incite people to anger. More literally here, it is “a word of pain.” Notice it only takes one word to inflame emotions in contrast with the carefully worded longer response of the “soft answer.”
Delicate situations require spiritual diplomacy for resolution. In addition, further wisdom is required in order to know in which situation this proverb will apply. For not all difficult situations need or will benefit from conversations.
Adding Knowledge Helps
Notice that the wise person speaks into problematic situations in such a way as to commend knowledge. This involves attaching knowledge to the truth spoken so that it is satisfying. The wise person uses knowledge of life, people and Scripture rightly and effectively to help others and improve everyone’s situations.
Of course, we still can not control how others will respond to truth spoken calmly and reasonably. But, the next verse declares that Yahweh watches, Proverbs 15:3 ESV “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.” And so as the wise, we will have a vision much larger than immediate solutions and harmony.
The fool simply gushes forth words because the foolish person is not interested in knowledge, or greater understanding. This person is the same as the one speaking the harsh words earlier, not considering what is being said in the conversation, or how it is being said.
The words of the foolish person may indeed contain some truth, but without knowledge they sound more like folly and end up as foolishness. There will be significant loss to everyone involved because a greater conflict is now inevitable. Handling sensitive situations with recklessness often results is ruined reputations, damaged relationships and even material loss.
Society is Unhelpful Much of the Time
Hostile speech abounds in our society these days. Simply listen to talk radio, watch opinion television or read internet chatter. But do not listen to these too much, because they will dramatically impact your own attitudes and behaviors, and eventually your relationships. This is not how we are to speak.
Instead, we are called to bring life and healing to the world. As the next verse states in Proverbs 15:4 ESV “A gentle tongue is a tree of life.” The Hebrew for “gentle tongue” is more literally a “healing tongue.”
Surely, we all have numerous examples from our lives to illustrate both of the approaches to sticky situations. It is good to review our real life examples and learn from them, so we can grow in the Gospel of grace. Ephesians 4:15 ESV “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.”
So, what about those emotionally charged conversations that you have been pressing without much success? Maybe Proverbs 15:1-2 can give you a new perspective and tactics you might try? Ask the Lord for greater wisdom, courage, insightful action and thoughtful speech.
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