A Single Man With Many Descendants

He owned a Christian bookstore in an east coast resort community.  Most Christian bookstores I know are filled with books of fluff, barely able to be acknowledged as Christian.  In a resort community?!  This would be fun; so I took a look!

There was a decent biblical studies section, and virtually no Christian romance.  These were two good signs.  As I peered deeper into the shelves I discovered that whoever owned this store knew his theology and had a mission in the community.  I had to meet him.  

My Greatest Early Encourager

He was a man full of the joy of the Holy Spirit, obvious from his smile and greeting; and then confirmed with his words.  He explained his vision to reach the community with solid biblical truth, to counsel all who entered, and to serve his church.  Simply, amazing!

I was a young college student at the time serving on a summer mission project in the community.  Recently, I had been tasked as one of two student teachers for the summer.  A daunting and thrilling task.  This man encouraged me.  He came to my teaching sessions.  He always encouraged me with specifics every time, and with notes of personal impact upon him.  Never ever a word of discouragement to a young man.

He became a good friend.  I would stop by his store a couple times a week.  I would hang out with him at church.  I would ask him questions about life and ministry.  

My wife and I were engaged at the time, so we asked for his advice on this, as well.  He was a single man, and always was and would be.  God’s wisdom was spoken to us through him into our relationship.  He attended our wedding and blessed us with his presence and many more words of gracious wisdom.

A Sacrificial Visit to a Pathetic One

After the mission project I returned home.  As often happens after such spiritually intense situations, depression set in.  I called him often for advice.  I was in a really bad place.

Then, he surprised me and took time to fly out and visit me, just to spend a week encouraging me, praying with me and listening to me.  Who does this?!

I still remember that week and how much it meant to me and how it put me back on the right track.  This was a week that changed my life and gave me courage to move forward in God’s will and plan for my life.  Thank you, brother.

Twenty-Five Years Later

We kept in touch on and off.  But, last year I was traveling through his city in Ohio and decided to stop by and visit.  This is after I had grown up, grown in Christ and grown in ministry.  This is when I started to ask more important questions about him.  Who was he really?

After our dinner at a local pizza place we went back to his simple home.  I learned about his broad ministry to college students over the years, particularly young men.  He had a number a Bible studies going on in his home with the college guys from the nearby campus.  He was forming leaders.

He prayed for them all.  He followed them all, their lives, their struggles, their successes  and the joys in life.  I found out that he was praying for me all these years.  He probably doesn’t know it, but I left his house that night for my hotel room being blessed, humbled and honored from being with him.

He is currently involved in a new church plant.  He is an old man, but younger, bolder and happier than most people I know.  This is because all he cares about is knowing Christ and spreading the Gospel of Christ; and the rest of life deserves little mention.

The Choice for Unselective Impact

My life has been shaped by this man taking an interest in me, praying for me and encouraging me.  I am not so sure he is very selective in whom he chooses to impact.  He just does it to whomever God brings his way.

He is my living model of a single man who uses his gift to please the Lord by extending the Kingdom.  As our Apostle Paul says, “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32 ESV)

When I consider the promises to Abraham of innumerable descendants of the faith in Genesis 12, 15 and 22, I actually think of my friend’s place in the larger story of God.  Here is a single man who has many descendants!  He has shared the Gospel of salvation with hundreds if not thousands of people, and discipled as many who will impact as many.

I am humbled and emboldened by my dear friend, Bill; to indiscriminately encourage others, to sacrifice whimsically, and to invest in the people God brings into my life. 

I Convert You, You Convert Me

We met at freshmen orientation only to meet again during our second term.  David was a Muslim from central Asia studying at our university.  We quickly struck up a friendship because of our common interest in religion and passion for our own beliefs.

Coffee Stimulates Conversation

Every week we would get together for 2-3 hours over coffee somewhere in town.  We followed a similar format each time.  One of us would make a presentation to the other for about an hour, and then the other one would ask questions for the next hour.  Then we would reverse roles at the next meeting.

These alternating conversations took place for approximately one semester.  We would make presentations about our faith, and sometimes about how our faith answered or struggled to answer contemporary social questions.  We learned so much from one another!

The best conversation we had, and David would agree, was about Jesus dying on the cross.  Since we were comparing notes on our belief systems and our religious texts, the historicity of many matters like this one became crucial.  Sometimes we would find outside verification of facts and bring the evidence back to the table to discuss.

Our Open Conversion Goals

We openly stated our goals to one another.  I was attempting to convert David to Christianity.  David was trying to convert me to Islam.  We both agreed it wouldn’t be quick, but it would be lively; and we were committed to the process with one another.

Actually, this conversion goal was the key to the conversations.  If conversion of the other wasn’t going to be each of our goals, then why bother to talk?!  In fact, why bother to hold religious beliefs of any kind if we are not going after the truth and knowing God truly?!  We both felt the same way.

Our agreement included being serious and honest with one another, to seek to understand, and to stay friends regardless.  We in fun promised one another there would be no violence against one another or our families, as our faith ancestors have been accused of doing. 

I prayed for his conversion, and I am sure he prayed for mine.  I was hoping I would win, or rather that God would graciously open David’s eyes not only to truth, to Holy Scripture, but to the amazing grace of God for salvation from sin in the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ, who is the Lord God!

An Abrupt Ending

David wanted eternal assurance of forgiveness, which he could not find in the Quran.  Toward the end of the semester he was starting to believe.  We ended up spending more and more of our time in the Bible, in verses like these:

Romans 3:21–25a ESV “But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith.” 

1 John 2:2; 5:11-12 ESV “He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. . . . And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.”

After that semester we never saw one another again.  I don’t know what happened, perhaps he transferred schools, or had to go back home.  I learned a tremendous amount from my friend, about his religion yes, but moreso about friendships.

Friendships, especially cross-cultural and cross-religious ones, are personally challenging.  But they are also gifts of God’s grace to us.  And they can become life transforming if we pursue them with sincerity. 

Be open about inter-faith dialogue.  There is nothing to fear, and so much to gain.  True, I didn’t convert him, and he didn’t convert me.  But, I think about my friend David often, pray for him and his family, and hope that he found peace with God in the grace of Christ.

What Would Help The Most?

“No one has asked us that before,” answered the national partners in Haiti, in response to the question asked by my American pastor friend.  Wouldn’t it be natural to ask, “What would help the most right now?”  He was surprised.

I shared with him a similar experience of mine from this past year.  While in Asia connecting an American church with an Asian church, the Americans asked, “What would be most helpful to you?”

Our Asian friends were surprised.  This almost brought tears to their eyes, tears of joy, for they replied, “You are the only ones who have ever asked us that.”

Questions We Ask Often

Sometimes we think about what has been helpful in other locations and ask if similar programs would be helpful, assuming they would be.  They might very well be, but we can fail to listen to other perspectives.

Other times we come with a particular ministry idea we want to pass along because we are good at it, have spent a lot of time developing it, and it has helped others.  We can be too eager to push our product.  This misses an even larger blessing.

Another common situation is when we have been working with our partners for a long period of time, we assume that what we have done before is what is still needed.  No one says anything because it is still a little bit useful.  But we could be doing so much more and being so much more useful.

The questions we ask so often are related to what we think might help, what we want to do to help, what has helped elsewhere, or what has helped at another time.

These are not necessarily bad questions, but what do our partners really need from us?  Do we know?  Are we sure?

Try A New Question

Go ahead and ask “What would help the most right now?”  There might not be an answer right away.  Leave it open-ended.  Let the question linger.  Be praying that God would open everyone’s minds and hearts, and bless the upcoming conversations.

Perhaps your partners need time to think.  Maybe they are not used to being asked this.  It is also possible they might be hesitant to tell you the truth.  But, keep asking and be open to talk about anything.

By processing together your friendships and partnership will deepen.  Also consider sharing your own needs.  Be transparent yourself and open to receiving from others.  Who knows, you might find the help you need, too!

Eventually the conversations will begin.  Follow the answers and take your time exploring them.  Keep in mind that this a good question to ask not just once, but more often on occasion, because situations and opportunities change over time.

These ongoing discussions will become some of your most rewarding.  They will be filled with many new ministry ideas and exciting possibilities for the advance of the Gospel!

Is God Messing With You? Your Life? Your Ministry?

When we let our work define us, we set ourselves up for great heartache and confusion.  This is because changes will be coming into our lives that will shake us.  Those of us in Christian ministry are some of the most vulnerable and unprepared.  

We tend to get our identity from what we do, such as preaching or teaching, leading worship, counseling, running schools, leading organizations, conducting outreaches, doing evangelism, providing humanitarian services, et cetera.  

On top of this we tend to believe that our current ministry, or ministry location, is our life-long calling or close to it--at least for a very long time.  Rarely is this the case, however.

Three Important Distinctions

It will be helpful to distinguish between our identity, our calling and our assignment.

Identity.  This is who you are as a person, who you are to God separate from what you do and when, where or how.  Even moreso, it is who you are in Christ, because of Christ.  We must rest in Him as His own.  This is permanent, unchangeable and untouchable.

Colossians 3:3–4 ESV “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

Calling.  This is what you do because God designed you this way and gave you gifts and passions to match.  This calling travels with you wherever you go.  It is your occupation in His service.  This is semi-permanent, not likely to change wildly, but it will take on new developments throughout your life.

1 Corinthians 12:4–7 ESV “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.”

Assignment.  This is where you serve as placed by God.  You work in a specific location for a certain employer, playing a particular role, and probably holding some kind of title.  Likely this will be temporary as God will bring about change through a variety of circumstances, people and opportunities.  So, be ready to move and be ready to stay, simultaneously.  

Luke 9:57–58 ESV “As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.””

Keep them clear in your mind:  who you are, what you do and where you serve.  Even if you already knew this you can still get mixed-up and feel lost.  By prayer, ask God to remind you of His truth when you feel overwhelmed.  This is especially important when you feel like He is messing with you, your life and your ministry.

For A Better Present & Future

Differentiation leads to greater confidence in ministry because we have a stronger sense of our identity and a greater trust in God’s sovereign movements.  It also leads to greater success in ministry because we see that it is less about us and more about God.  

And it leads to a better future for everyone when the time comes for change because we know God rearranges things and we are ready to trust His wisdom.  He is deploying and re-redeploying His people so that His Mission moves forward most powerfully.